its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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