There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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