So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
