we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i came on her dog
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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