508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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