can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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