just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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