The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
