well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
