one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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