Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
