with your own penis?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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