from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
