I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
