Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
