I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
