what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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