you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
