Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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