this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Randomize
