Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
