did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
