Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
