Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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