i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
