He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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