and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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