Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
