I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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