is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
