Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I CAN MOONWALK!
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
