I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
