it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
is it fun? or sober?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
