it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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