so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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