i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My bed smells like the plague
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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