ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
