You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I think my moral compass just broke
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