i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
