Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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