The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
