I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
