My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
