careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
