I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
