I think my vagina is haunted
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
