Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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