so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
