yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
