It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I touched a dick in church today
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
