Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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