Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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