Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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