grandma shit on top of the toilet
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
